I've been absent for a few months. Oh, you didn't notice? Well, I have a really good reason. I've been sick and I haven't wanted to write and only whine about how sick I feel. But not writing about how sick I feel just doesn't seem right under the circumstances. This is a good kind of sickness, or at least the kind of sickness that will have a really great ending and has a time limit of 5 more months! Yep, you probably did the math and figured it out, I'm pregnant! The morning sickness has been pretty rough. Especially since I'm 18 weeks and it's supposed to be over by now according to blogs and books and friends. But, it's still hanging in there reminding me how miserable I can feel. I'll try to write about some of the funnier aspects of morning sickness at another time, but now I just want to remember some of the more fun parts of pregnancy so far.
Shawn and I took a trip to Disneyland in October with his brother Lance's family. We'd been planning it for months and I was absolutely determined NOT to be pregnant at Disneyland. Right before we left I was a bit suspicious that I might be pregnant and my period was technically one day late when we left. But it hadn't been particularly regularly since I went off of birth control, so I decided it wasn't a big deal. We had a great time in Disneyland, but my period still hadn't shown up when we got back on Sunday night. Monday I knew it was time to take a test, but I was so nervous about it! We had decided to start trying, but I thought it would take months before we actually got pregnant! I didn't feel ready, I thought I would have more time. We had a family party right after work, and I just couldn't think about anything else, and we went straight to the store from the party where we ran into a neighbor who was just so chatty! I kept thinking, "We have things to do! We can't sit here and chat with you!"
I was too nervous to actually look at the pregnancy test, so I left it sitting on the counter and told Shawn to go in and look at it. And sure enough we are pregnant! Shawn was so excited right from the first moment, but I was terrified! It took me a few days to not be freaked out about the whole thing, and honestly it's taken me a few weeks to get excited!
And then the morning sickness settled in. And the painful sciatic nerve. And heartburn. And lots of cramping and stretching. And congestion. I feel like if there's a pregnancy symptom I've had it. At first I didn't want to tell anyone, not a soul, until 12 weeks. But after the first couple of days of morning sickness I had to call my Mom, and as soon as I called my Mom Shawn called his. Then I had to tell my sister because it's been too long since my Mom has been pregnant, and she never had morning sickness. And so much for waiting until 12 weeks. We slowly told people, but did manage to keep it mostly secret until Christmas.
Shawn had to work for my first OB appointment at 8 weeks, so I invited my Mom to come, and it was so sweet to have her with me. Part of me was scared that they would tell me I wasn't pregnant and just had the stomach flu, despite the pregnancy test and no period. When we heard the heartbeat for the first time it became real for the first time! And then they had a portable ultrasound that was new in the office, so I got my first ultrasound and saw my tiny baby moving around and looking just like a baby! And that's when I started to cry. That is an amazing experience and one I won't even try to really describe!
Shawn came with me to the 12 week appointment which was our first with the actual doctor who was going to deliver our baby. I'm glad he was there to meet her with me and hear the heartbeat again. That's by far the best part of the appointment, just a reassurance that Baby Walker is still in there and going strong.
We haven't come up with any good nicknames for the baby yet. When I talk to it I just call it "Baby." Shawn doesn't talk to the baby like I do, but when he talks about the baby he always calls the baby a he. Shawn is determined he's having a boy! I think it's a girl, but am not completely determined. For a little while we called it Franny because it was the size of a raspberry, and Fran is similar to the spanish word for Raspberry, but it didn't stil for more than a couple of days.
We have a great pregnancy app on my phone and have had fun reading the updates every week and seeing what fruit or vegetable I'm carrying now. Currently the baby is the size of a Mango, but I suspect it's more of a baked potato.
Well blog, that's enough for tonight. And hopefully the morning sickness will stay away for a few more days and I'll be able to write the humorous part of morning sickness.