If there's one big lesson I've been learning during pregnancy, it's one that we all really need to learn in Kindergarten. Sometimes I'm really good at this lesson, sometimes I need a big reminder, and being pregnant I've needed a giant reminder. Don't compare yourself to other people. It always ends up badly! I've really tried to be good at reminding myself that every pregnant woman is different, and that even every pregnancy is different. But I still do it, I still compare.
I have a lovely coworker, a truly wonderful, kind, generous, friendly person, but I tend to get jealous of her pregnancy. Let's just say that in a lot of ways this pregnancy has been hard on me. I've struggled a bit, and she just didn't. No morning sickness, no heartburn, she traveled and didn't have any of the usual pregnant symptoms. And I find myself comparing my pregnancy to hers a lot and feeling inadequate a lot. Morning sickness hit me hard, and I found myself jealous of her. I took one trip for work while pregnant and it wiped me out and took days to recover! I instantly cancelled the second trip I was planning in my head. I am exhausted ALL THE TIME and having a seriously hard time making it to work in the mornings. And then I compare myself to my coworker and I feel bad. Why can't I do those things? Why am I struggling so much? Why does she have to (appear to) be so perfect at pregnancy? And then I remind myself, that's just it! To me, she appears perfect. But we're not close friends. I'm not the person she'd come crying to if she didn't feel well. I'm not the person she'd tell if she was exhausted. We don't even work on the same floor so I have no idea what time she gets in to the office in the morning, or if she's even there! I don't know what she's going through, so I certainly don't need to compare myself to her. And, I work with a bunch of parents. My boss has been amazingly understanding, the women in my office have been supportive, and the men are excited. I'm really lucky. And I'm doing the best I can, and right now, that just has to be good enough.